I am Josue, from a fishing community called Tamandaré in Pernambuco, Brazil. When I first participated in a Reflect workshop there were a lot of surprises, it was all very new. The way of speaking, of listening, the equality between those who knew a lot and those who didn't. Talking about ourselves, about our feelings, I'd never done that in a course. Also reflecting on and participating in the process of running the workshop.
I've been to lots of courses before and I thought it was just another one. I thought it would be just the same as all the other courses. That was what I expected.
When I did the River of Life - that really had an impact. That was the drop of water! It was really a shock. I learnt that all my life I was a leader, I had to be a leader - to command, guide and persuade, but never bend. I tried to lead others "like a sheperd leads his sheep"!
After that, in the evening everyone went out to enjoy themselves but I was feeling quite emotional and I wanted to be on my own. I still feel like that . . . not shocked but I'm thinking a lot and I want to move forward slowly.
At night, on my own in the dark I had a kind of internal dialogue, more like a duel. I realised that I was in total darkness . . how could I escape? Now I still feel that I'm in the dark and that's not so easy for someone who always thought they were doing the right thing and that everything was clear.
But now there's a difference. There's a little ray of light, you can hardly see it . . .but it's there.
I think that this is going to help me find the way and to rebuild what was knocked or fell down - because it was built wrong - to build on leadership, community, group work, on life.
